Welcome to my mommy life! P is officially 3 months, and I can’t believe how fast time is moving. Next thing you know, she will be sitting up on her own. Then crawling. Then saying mama. Then walking. Ok, I’m getting ahead of myself.
When I woke up on Friday, I was so excited and thrilled that my baby girl was 3 months. I picked out a special outfit and everything. And unfortunately, that’s the only highlight of my weekend.
#1 I was extremely exhausted. It is very tiring and draining waking up at 6 am, getting ready, getting P ready, dropping her off at my parents’ house, going to work, pumping 3 times at work, picking B up down the street, going to pick P up, cook dinner, feed P, play with P, bathe P, put dinner up, and then fall asleep finally around 1 ish. I’m tired. I’m f–king tired. ALL THE TIME! I have no energy to do anything. I was so tired on Friday that I got a text from B saying to pick him in 15 minutes. This was at 5:04 (mind you I get off at 5 but that’s an entirely different issue). Next thing I know, the lights came on in my office, and it’s 5:45. I’ve missed several texts, cell phone calls, and work office calls. I don’t even remember falling asleep. All I know is that the lights woke me up, and I hurried out the door. I went to go get B, but for some reason, he thought he should walk to my office after I told him I was on my way. Needless to say, I had to turn around and go back to my office. By this time, it was 6 pm. I then drove to my mom’s house with the windows down and my sister on the phone so I could stay away. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ve been drinking pop and coffee all week just to make it through the day. I need a day to just sleep.
#2 HELP! That’s all I needed this weekend. I should have taken P over my mom’s. I felt so overwhelmed this weekend. Like the weight of the house was on my shoulders alone. For a majority of this weekend, P was with me. Eating (she’s right there). Bathroom (she’s right there). Sleeping (she’s right there). She was my buddy. I did the math on the way in this morning, and P and I were together for over 36 hours this weekend.
#3 So, I had all these plans for the weekend, and only one of them happened. To say, I had cabin fever would be an understatement. To say, I had a shitty attitude wouldn’t do it just. I missed a baby shower. I missed the chance to see Fifty Shades of Black. By Sunday, I needed some air. I found a small sense of relief when I went to Walmart for an hour. Then I went over my friend K’s house just to vent. Poor K, I know she didn’t intend to hear me rant and rave for over 2 hours, but thanks! I truly needed that.
#4 Certain things people said to me irritated the hell out of me. It’s consistently the same person, and I don’t know why I let them get on my nerve. One of these days, I feel like I’m just going to snap and tell them how I truly feel. For now, I’m going to continue to pray that the pettiness in me does not come to the surface and that I keep my harsh thoughts to myself.
#5 Insert a lot of curse words. That was me on Saturday and Sunday night. Mommy was not feeling daddy.
I say all this to say that I have the baby blues again. I had it the first month P was here, and I was getting used to being a mom. It’s back again now that I think the world thinks I’m superwoman, and I am not. I’m just a new mom trying to navigate this world of being a parent to my adorable little P aka Park Park. They say it will get better, and I know its true. This weekend just kicked my ass! Next time, I’ll send out the bat signal to my favorite moms (you know who you are)!
P.S. I’m not really keen on posting P so at most is you’ll see random pics of her without her face.
I’m 3 months, and I’m so happy about it. My mommy decided that I should wear this oh so cute Terry and Sparkle Tulle Sweater Dress from OshKosh paired with polka dots pants from Circo. Sorry, they no longer carry the pants, but she found another pair for you from the Gap. I had on two pairs of shoes that day. Some knit booties from the Gap, and the Stepping Stones boots shown in the pic (no longer available).
See you later!