Welcome to my mommy life! Well well well! My baby girl is 16 weeks and will be 4 months next Monday. Time really is flying, and I’m so grateful to be a mom. I can’t tell you how much joy she brings me, but trust me when I tell you, I do have my WTF days or what in the hell moments. Because caring is sharing, here are a few…
#1 When will my hair stop falling out? I see it everywhere. On P. In the bed. In the bathroom. Lots of it in my brush. In my ponytail holder. On my pillow. On my clothes. I already have a few stress spots, and I surely don’t want or need any more balding to occur. WHEN WILL IT STOP????????????????
#2 The struggle is real with breastfeeding and pumping. I have to supplement because Mama Bear doesn’t make enough for my P. I’m not going to lie; I was in my feelings for a little bit over that fact but eventually got over it. My P is thriving on her half breastmilk, half supplemental diet. Woo hoo! She’s nearly 13 lbs, and I just love her double chin and juicy legs. But back to the breastfeeding and pumping, I’m going to be real and admit that I’m so over it. Pumping three times at work. Cleaning my pumping utensils. Taking the milk over to my moms. Nursing at home. It’s a struggle. It takes a lot out of me, and to all those pro-breastfeeding critics, I don’t want to hear it. Your journey is your own. As for me, I’ve given myself milestones. I’m shocked I even made it this far. I wanted to quit at 2 weeks but decided to push through. My first milestone was 3 months, and my next one is 6 months. After that, I’m leaning toward stopping, but we shall see. For me, it has not gotten any easier with time as people suggested; it’s only gotten more tolerable or should I say, I’m just used to it now. When I think of breastfeeding, I don’t get overly excited. I don’t think “wow, how amazing is this.” I think “uhh, here we go again. And when will I have my body back?” Judge all you want….
So as P turns 4 months, I’m thinking to myself “wow, I will be done breastfeeding sooner than later. Hip hip hooray!” Good thing I know that P and I will have an attachment no matter what, and that I will do any and everything for her. And that not breastfeeding for a year doesn’t make me a bad mom. When I look back, I’ll remember my blah attitude toward breastfeeding, but I’ll also remember funnier times like when she pinched my nipple and held on to it while she laughed or when she sucked for a few minutes then popped off to look around at everything and everyone. I’ll remember the time I was afraid a spider was going to crawl on my tubes while pumping and I had to go get someone to kill it before I started and the smile on my face when I pumped 5 ounces collectively in one setting. I will try to block out how miserable/depressed/sad I felt in the beginning when I truly hated breastfeeding and cherish the few months my boobs had with P. And on the day that I cut off the breast tap, I’ll raise a martini glass in salute. To the best and worst times of breastfeeding and pumping.
#3 I am officially that mom who wants to share pics of P all the time or talk about her all the time. Sorry, I haven’t decided if she will make an appearance on here or Instagram. I do, however, share tons of pics of her on my personal Facebook page. I’m so annoying. I’m such a new mom, and I love it. She’s the wallpaper on my computer. She’s also the home and lock screen on my phone. I have over 1k pictures of her on my phone. When Shutterfly ran the free printing promotion, I damn near wanted to print them all. I have three pics of her up in my office. I send out Parkergrams to my family and friends. I could sit with you and tell you how amazing she is for a few hours. Tell you about her first play date this weekend and her first time in church. Tell you how sometimes I just look at her in awe and think to myself how awesome is she.
#4 I’ve learned that I don’t really care for other people’s bs anymore, and I’ve lost the little patience I did have. Oh, and I’m always tired. Put all that together, and I literally give zero f–ks when it comes to silliness, b.s., or anything extra that I don’t have to do. Probably because P and B are majority owners of my patience stocks. They both test it every day especially B lol. They both thrive on my energy and require all of my time. Because as much as I resist the label of superwoman, thats who I am at home. I sometimes take on my hubby’s chapter’s saying, I do it all, and I do it well. LOL! Well except for cleaning because I suck at that. Who has the energy or time? Not me. I’m always tired so I will be hiring a maid next month.
#5 What about me? I have no me time, and I desperately miss it. I used to read for fun. I canceled Kindle Unlimited because I was no longer getting my money’s worth. I used to either get my hair done or do it myself. It’s been 5 weeks. My hair is struggling yall, but no worries, I scheduled an appointment. I use to care what I looked like. Wait, who am I kidding. That never went away. I’m still casual chic aka glamorously preppy all day. In fact, I went to church and got so many compliments on my Bebe fedora and Who What Wear for Target Belt Bag aka ultra chic fanny pack. (Both are sold out but try this TopShop fedora and this Tory Burch Fanny Pack). I also wore my favorite Banana Republic heels the other day with my boyfriend jeans and oxford shirt from Old Navy. (Try this BR alternative because mine are sold out.)
Being a mom is uber important, and some things have taken a backseat to that like working out and getting pedicures. So to keep my sanity and self-esteem up, I’ve decided to open my mouth and ask B to take P while I do some me things. I’m going to start dating myself at least once every two weeks. P.S. That’s all i really need because who am I kidding, I’m really a home body.
Can you believe it? I will be 4 months very soon. I am so excited. I had my very first play date the other day, and I had so much fun. I also went to church for the first time, and everyone was so excited to meet me. They all shook my toes and told me “peace of the Lord be with you.” My mom is thinking about getting me baptized in the next few months. Yeah me!
I’m growing so quickly. I no longer fit some of my clothes so my mom is donating them. Did she tell you that my cousin gave me some nice shoes? I now own a pair of pink Uggs. Yeah!
Well, other than that I’m trying to sit up. I can also hold my bottle a little bit better.
P.S.S. I love tulle. Mom keeps me in it, and I thought I would show you some you might like.
See you later…