I woke up this morning and did my normal routine. I checked my Morning Brew email then went through the rest of my emails while drinking my Mocha coffee from Starbucks. Learned a few things from the Brew about nanotechnology and how Chipotle stocks are on the upswing. Then opened my email from Kristel David and had to stop and share her message:
What are you doing today?
Are you spending your time and money creating your dream life or are you just doing busy, auto pilot things that aren’t in alignment with your legacy?
Putting things off until later. Tomorrow. Next week. When I get xyz then I’ll do/have/be xyz.
And I don’t just mean the big things like change your career. Travel the world. Do that thing You’ve always wanted to.
I mean, how we do one thing is how we do everything, so if we’re putting off the big stuff there’s a chance we’re putting off the little things too.
I instantly shared this message with my boo down South, my accountability partner, my live with intentions partner, and she asked me how would I answer this. As the sounds of BIG K.R.I.T.’s latest album played in the background, I had to think about this one. But it didn’t take long for me to realize that I’m on autopilot. I don’t know if I’ve ever not been on autopilot, but I know for sure with 2 toddlers, I’m really on autopilot. I wake up at 440 am, get to work by 6, work, pick kids up around 330 at my parents, hang at my parents for awhile, go home, play with kids, feed kids, bath kids, put kids to bed, eat, bond with hubby briefly, and go to bed.
EVERY DAY IS THE SAME! People ask my why I haven’t packed. Why haven’t I blogged regularly? Why I don’t finish my book? Then I ask why haven’t I tried to lose weight? Why do I always feel tired? And it suddenly becomes clear that this mom is on autopilot. My sis in law, a mom of 3 toddlers all under 4 and starting a new venture coming soon, told me I need to find some time in the day to be self-centered, to take care of myself. One of my mom besties told me I don’t have to have plans, I just need to schedule something monthly for myself. Then I open Pop Sugar and read an article I Refuse to Feel Guilty For Doing This 1 Thing For Myself Every Day, and basically, it reinforced the idea that I need to find time for me.
During those 10 minutes, I try and block everything else out. One kid may have a fever, but I can check her temperature again after a few sun salutations. Another might be asking for a snack. She won’t starve if she waits, just this one time. I refuse to feel guilty for putting myself first for just a few minutes each day. All the other minutes are 100 percent devoted to motherhood. So in order to guard against resentment, frustration, and a potential nervous breakdown, I exercise. I may not have many occasions to rock 4-inch heels any longer. I may not have enough time to shop for and cook a Thai dish I saw online. I may never wear lipstick again! But I can stretch it out on a yoga mat.
Is the universe speaking to me? I think so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I pledge to myself to do better. To take care of myself like I take care of my kids and hubby. So for the month of August, I’ll take 15 minutes a day to be all about Kanae.